


Swamp Thang

by al-the-remix (only_blue)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Courting Rituals, Developing Relationship, Grooming--PHYSICAL grooming, Halifax with Sid, M/M, Weird Biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:15:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25767298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_blue/pseuds/al-the-remix
Summary: Sid took it as an excuse to let everything grow wild. His sprouts grew out along with the rest of his hair, and his little green spots had gone from barely noticeable to springing up all over his skin. It would take hours and more than a pair of tweezers if Zhenya had to groom him now. He was sort of excited by the idea; getting to investigate all these new, private places on Sid’s body.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 122





	Swamp Thang

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to sevenfists who can decipher my spelling errors like no other :')

"What happens if you let it grow?" Zhenya asked. They were on Sid’s bed in Halifax. Sid was lying back, bare-chested, with his hands comfortably behind his head and his foot in Zhenya’s lap.

Carefully, Zhenya spread Sid’s toes and pulled another clump of moss from between them with a pair of tweezers and rubbed the dirt away till it was just pink, squeaky-clean skin.

Sid shrugged noncommittally. “Nothing special, it would just grow. I haven’t let it since I was a kid.”

That must have taken a lot of maintenance, Zhenya thought. Sid’s body seemed to flourish in the damp, warm climate of the Maritimes in late spring. He wiggled his toes before Zhenya could catch them to start working on another chunk of moss that had sprouted right under his middle toe.

Zhenya didn’t mind helping out. He was infinitely fascinated with Sid’s weird body. The things that grew from it, his cravings for anything saturated with sugar, and the fact Zhenya could turn him on by something as simple as wearing a yellow shirt. Which made Zhenya wonder if Sid spent most of his time inside the Pens’ arena turned on. Probably.

Tending to Sid’s foliage usually wasn’t his problem. They had people on staff to manage Sid if he needed to be pruned, snipped, or bush-whacked. Sid always let him have the little mossy bits, though. Zhenya liked to sit behind Sid in the hydro pool at the arena and pick away, or in his banya and let the moist air bring all of Sid’s small green bits to the surface. It really added a whole nother level to the guys who called Sid’s gear _“swampy.”_

He yanked a tiny sprout free from under Sid’s toe nail and listened to Sid groan low, and deep, and dirty.

"Seriously?" Zhenya said, digging his thumb into the arch of Sid’s foot, pressing hard enough to make Sid jerk and kick out. He very clearly had a half-chub going on inside his briefs while Zhenya was essentially giving him a free spa day.

He would be more annoyed if he wasn't getting off on this in his own way.

“What, this doesn’t come with a happy ending?” Sid snarked, and Zhenya pinched his foot again. This time, Sid yelped. "Would you cut that out? I can't help it if it feels good." He gave Zhenya that smile that let him get away with things. The one that made women eager to pass their babies over for him to hold and executives want to put him on the front of every ad campaign.

Zhenya was just as big a sucker as the rest of them and watched Sid rapturously as he slid his hand into his underwear. Sid was devilish and Zhenya was ensnared with no hope of escape.

Sid pressed his tongue to his upper lip and pulled himself out of his briefs, pushing them down under his ass. Little green saplings curled out of his pubes. Zhenya watched with one hand still cradling Sid’s foot and the other holding the tweezers dumbly in mid-air. His heart flopped around like a fish stuck on the end of a line while Sid stroked himself leisurely.

Sid wrapped his fist more firmly around his cock, working himself in jerky movements. Zhenya pressed his thumb back to Sid’s arch, kneading it, just to hear Sid groan in that filthy way again. He was watching himself, not Zhenya, while he did it, sending a twisted spike of heat through Zhenya, like he was getting to peer in on something private.

Sid’s stomach muscles flexed as he pumped his fist tight around the head until he came with a satisfied _"ah"_ sound, spurting all over his abdomen and milking himself into the dip of his belly button.

Sid wiped it across his stomach and into the hair at the base of his cock. Zhenya wrinkled his nose. "What? It's fertilizer," Sid said with that same smile that tried to convince you what he was doing wasn’t disgusting.

"You're an idiot,” Zhenya said plainly.

"I know whatever you said it wasn't nice,” Sid retorted, and stripped his briefs the rest of the way off, floundering as he got off the bed. "C'mon, I'm ready to jump in the lake. Race you." He chucked them towards the laundry basket, missed, and left Zhenya half hard to follow.

There was a leaf growing out of his ass crack.

Zhenya sighed and picked Sid’s underwear up, dropping them in the hamper on the way out.

+

It took him a few days to notice what was going on. In the kitchen, Sid had his back to him in front of the stove, flipping omelettes. Up close, Zhenya noticed a little grouping of green sprouts that had cropped up at the base of his hairline, against the back of his neck.

Zhenya combed his fingers lightly through the hair there. "What's this, you want me to take?"

"Huh?” Sid said, lifting to rub a hand at the back of his neck. “Oh, no, you said to let it grow, so I thought: why not?"

Zhenya hummed in appreciation and rubbed his fingers through the sprouts and up over Sid’s scalp. At the top of Sid’s head, Zhenya could feel the little bumps where more plants would sprout and push through and somehow wind themselves through Sid’s mass of hair to find the sun.

There was some young leafy plant poking out from behind Sid’s ear, and Zhenya had to stop himself from plucking it. He wondered what all these little seedlings would turn into.

“Can you grow something we can stick in the eggs?” he asked.

“I don’t grow vegetables,” Sid said as if that was a ridiculous suggestion.

Apparently, Sid was very proud of the fact that he only grew plants indigenous to Nova Scotia and pulled anything that might look invasive out by the root.

“One time when I was a kid my whole head got taken over by a blueberry bush, but Taylor ate them all,” Sid said with a mournful tone.

“Would be good on pancakes,” Zhenya agreed. He wondered if Sid had to rub mashed-up blueberries all over himself to get, what, fertilized? Impregnated? Zhenya knew those weren’t the right words but he didn’t know what else to call it. He’d save that question for later.

Sid took it as an excuse to let everything grow wild. His sprouts grew out along with the rest of his hair, and his little green spots had gone from barely noticeable to springing up all over his skin. It would take hours and more than a pair of tweezers if Zhenya had to groom him now. He was sort of excited by the idea; getting to investigate all these new, private places on Sid’s body.

They lay together in the sun on the dock, Sid snoozing on his towel while Zhenya investigated his back. He watched the plants slowly curl up towards the sky, soaking in the sunlight.

Patches of moss were flourishing between seedlings and little bits of crusty lichen had collected in the creases of his skin. Zhenya had watched Sid with fascination as he scrubbed himself down with dirt the other day like he was taking a bath. It had obviously done the trick; there were flowers like white clover blooming on his shoulders and other, larger buds waiting to bloom. Sid had a whole garden laying in wait to bloom, growing out of his skin in patchy islands.

Zhenya occupied himself with a bed of small purple flowers growing on Sid’s lower back. Zhenya pulled at his trunks and Sid grunted but didn’t complain, so Zhenya yanked them down farther. He wanted to discover how far the flowers went. Pulling one of Sid’s butt cheeks aside without much preamble, he caught a glimpse of tiny green leaves and pink, vulnerable skin. Zhenya was able to brush his finger over one small purple flower that was miraculously able to survive down there, before Sid made a noise like a squeaky toy and rolled onto his side.

Sid squinted at him over his shoulder. His glasses had slipped down his nose and he looked like a cranky old man. He had at least four chins.

“I’m trying to relax.”

“So am I,” Zhenya said, and wriggled the fingers that were still wedged down the back of Sid’s pants.

Sid turned the rest of the way over, shimmying his shorts back up.

“They won’t get hurt?” Zhenya asked, gesturing to his back. Zhenya would be sad to see all those flowers crushed under Sid’s immense bulk.

“Naw, they’re pretty durable,” Sid said, relaxing back onto the towel.

Turning over only gave Zhenya a whole new territory to explore. There was a little green something poking out from Sid’s nipple. Zhenya tweaked it.

“Ouch.” Sid sat half up and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head, making tufts of hair and plants poke out in every direction. “Would you cut it out?”

“Sensitive?” Zhenya asked gleefully, and Sid pouted.

“What about it?”

“I’m very sorry,” Zhenya said, deeply sincere, and dipped his head, sucking the soft peak into his mouth and swirling his tongue around the stalk, fiddling with it as Sid gasped underneath him. He let up only after Sid was pink and ruffled and not relaxed at all.

One of the white clover flowers was poking out from his clavicle. Zhenya took that into his mouth too and sucked on it as Sid squirmed. It tasted like honey.

“Did you just eat me?” Sid asked, laughing.

+

Zhenya lay in bed that evening. It was always a process to watch Sid get undressed, untangling himself from his clothes. He chose to go mostly naked these days when they were at home alone. They had spent time running drills in some random gym Sid had driven them to to meet up with Nate and Andy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Nate had said when they arrived and he got a good look at Sid and his steadily growing companions.

“They like the sweat.” Sid shrugged and left them in favour of Andy’s company.

“Do you also...” Zhenya gestured vaguely after Sid. He didn’t know if it was rude to ask or not.

Nate snorted. “Sprout things from my skin? Yeah, but I keep that under wraps, don’t want to give people the wrong idea.”

Zhenya didn’t know what idea that might be, but he didn’t want to ask and look like an idiot. Surely Sid would have told him if they were doing anything taboo.

Now, Zhenya zoned out as he stared at the expanse of muscles in the backs of Sid’s thighs. Sid turned around and stretched. There was hardly any bare skin left visible--his back was almost completely covered--but there was still the pale slab of his stomach. Zhenya’s eyes followed the trail of short, supple, yellow-green plants that snaked from his belly button down towards his groin.

Sid took his time stretching. “I’m going to grab a shower.”

“Forgot to water them?" Zhenya teased, only half serious until Sid’s eyes grew dark.

“Yeah, you want to help?”

The spray from the shower hit the leaves, making them quiver. Zhenya traced from where their stems rooted in Sid’s skin, over the map of dark green veins that spread across Sid’s stomach. They looked like riverways winding over the topography of Sid’s body.

He brushed his hand up over Sid’s leaves under the water, listening to them rustle. "How's it feel?"

"I don't know, kinda itchy?" Sid said, and Zhenya rubbed harder at one of the veins, making it squiggle.

Sid’s fingers joined Zhenya’s to scratch at the veins as they slowly pushed out of his skin. Not veins so much, Zhenya thought: _vines_. He watched in fascination as they reached out towards the water and grew larger.

One curled over Zhenya’s hip. They felt grabby, like feelers, and they pulled him closer. Zhenya followed the trail of plants from Sid’s belly button down to where leaves had been growing at the base of his dick and the skin was starting to turn green. The leaves were _encasing_ it, Zhenya thought. He couldn’t see much of Sid’s dick left at all as it slowly began to look more like a flower bud.

In any other instance Zhenya would be very concerned by that turn of events, but Sid wasn’t bothered by it and he figured if there was something wrong with Sid’s dick, Zhenya would be the first one to hear about it.

He left it alone for now and turned his attention back to stroking the vines instead, which did the job in making Sid shudder. Delighted, Zhenya did it again. The vines twined around him, inching over his skin and exploring. It tickled in a pleasant way. They weren’t slimy or weird like Zhenya might have imagined if told Sid could grow tentacles. _Plant_ tentacles.

One slithered up and touched the side of his face. Zhenya sucked it into his mouth without much thought.

“Oh,” Sid said softly, shuddering harder.

Encouraged, Zhenya sucked on it wet and messy as Sid’s feelers continued to curl around him. The possessiveness of the touch sent a frisson of delight down his spine. Zhenya let himself get lost in the sensation, lulled by the way the vines moved over his skin and Sid’s uneven breaths in his ear. So, he wasn’t suspecting it when one brushed against the skin behind his balls and made him arch up onto his toes in surprise.

Sid held him fast. “It’s okay” he said, as the tip of the vine slid inside him, “it feels good,” and Zhenya had to wonder if Sid ever did this to himself.

The protrusion was smooth and blunt, not at all like fingers or flesh. Of course Sid liked this. Zhenya was still surprised he’d never had to take Sid to the ER to get an eggplant fished out of his ass. He didn’t have to resort to those measures, though, not when he could do this to himself.

It got slicker suddenly as Sid slid deeper inside him and began thrusting. Slowly, Zhenya’s body adjusted. The sensation of the vines dragging over his insides made him want to squirm. It was unforgiving, somewhere between uncomfortable and achingly good.

Sid looked fucked out just from watching him. He reached down to take Zhenya’s dick in his hand, making him tighten up. He hadn’t realized how close he’d gotten just from the slide of Sid inside him.

“That’s nice,” Sid said, pushing even deeper. Zhenya wondered just how deep he could go, if he could stuff the rest of himself slowly inside Zhenya’s body. It was that thought that sent him over the edge, coming ribbons all over Sid’s hand.

Sid pulled himself slowly from Zhenya’s body. He hadn’t realized just how deep Sid had actually gotten and flushed with it when he finally slid out.

“Did you come?” Zhenya asked, looking for any evidence, but there didn’t seem to be much going on below Sid’s belt besides the strangeness Zhenya had already grown accustomed to.

“No, but it felt good,” Sid said, and pecked him on the cheek like he didn’t just skewer Zhenya on his tentacle like a monster in an anime porn.

Zhenya wanted to know if there was a way he could make it feel _more_ good.

+

They went to the farmer’s market on Sunday mornings. They had Indian food for breakfast from one of the stalls and bought a pie to bring to Sid’s parents’ house.

All the while there was a flower growing out from the back of Sid’s shirt, right against his neck, that made Zhenya feel tender.

When they arrived for dinner, Trina raised her brows in surprise when she saw them, or more specifically her son. "Sid, you're looking…scruffy."

It was a polite way of putting it. Sid was clad in shorts, flip flops, and a shirt that had weeds poking out from every arm and leg hole. He couldn’t shave without nicking the plants so he had just let his five o’clock shadow grow out.

There was an odd tension in the air all through dinner despite the fact everyone was acting normal, maybe even overly polite. It was like being a rookie again with limited English, having to watch like a hawk to pick up on conversation shifts.

Zhenya tried to catch Sid’s eye across the table, but he either didn’t notice the weird aura or didn’t care, too wrapped up in his conversation with Troy about the book he was reading on tanks. Apparently they were making a movie and Sid had opinions.

Taylor saved him from his confusion after dinner. Sid had conveniently disappeared, snagged by Trina before he could offer to help put away the dishes, and Zhenya was wrapped up in his own thoughts as he fished a plate out of the sudsy water and passed it to Taylor to dry, nearly dropping it when she said: "I didn't know you two were so serious."

It wasn’t a question, and she took the plate from his outstretched hand as he stared at her in confusion. Taylor sighed long-sufferingly. "He didn't tell you much about it, did he?"

"Tell me what?"

+

Zhenya waited all the way through dessert and drinks. Suddenly every photo in the house of Sid and Taylor as shiny green babies sprouting tiny leaves held a weightier meaning.

They said goodbye and then finally they were locked in the car alone together and he got his chance to needle Sid.

"You didn't say it's sex thing," Zhenya hissed, he didn’t need to whisper. No one could hear them inside the safety of the car, but that didn’t outweigh the looming presence of Sid’s parents’ house right beside them.

"So weird to do in front of your parents, your _sister—“_ Zhenya groaned.

"What?" Sid yelped. "It's not—who told you that?"

"Taylor said it’s a courting thing. Like mating."

"Taylor doesn't know what she’s talking about."

"She know more than me," Zhenya accused.

"It's not like that, it's just." Sid was grasping for words. "It's hard to explain."

"Try me," Zhenya said.

"It’s not only a sex thing. I can grow this out whenever I want to, it doesn’t matter. It's just we typically do it when, you know, we’re serious about courting someone, and that normally includes mating,” Sid explained clumsily.

"Oh," Zhenya said softly. It was still kind of weird, but he could understand.

Then Sid had to open his big mouth again. "But it's not the same, we’re not compatible— biologically."

"Oh," Zhenya said again, and he watched the tone clearly register across Sid's face.

Sid was quick to backpedal. “I didn't mean it in a bad way.”

“I know,” Zhenya said, but the bitter taste of disappointment had already taken over his mouth.

+

Sid was navigating around him like he was treading on eggshells and Zhenya couldn’t blame him. The drive home from Sid’s parents’ place had been an icy and silent one. Sid never stepped lightly, always clomping around the house. Zhenya took a guilty sort of satisfaction from the change in behaviour.

Sid sulked in the reeds at the edge of the lake, surrounded by murky water, blending in with the vegetation. He was going to start growing lily pads soon if he stayed in there any longer. Not that Zhenya cared.

It’s not like Zhenya didn’t understand. He did: they hadn't been dating for so long, it wasn't serious like that. Zhenya wasn't even the same species, as Sid had so helpfully pointed out. Of course they weren’t compatible in that way. Sid just wanted the company and Zhenya was agreeable until he found himself a nice Canadian flower person.

Zhenya picked up a stick and chucked it into the lake. It hit the water with a satisfying splash, so he threw another one, but it only made him feel better for about five seconds. He knew he wouldn’t have forever to sulk; eventually Sid would untuck his tail from between his legs and want to talk about it. When they were in the same room, every so often Sid would take deep breaths like he was about to start a monologue, but always let them out in a sad whoosh like a deflated balloon.

Zhenya was sitting at the end of the dock watching the sunset when he heard the sound of Sid coming up behind him.

“I heated you up some dinner,” Sid said and set a plate down beside him, a gesture that made Zhenya’s eyes embarrassingly misty. He _liked_ Sid and his weird green parts. This past week exploring them had led Zhenya to believe that Sid sharing this with him meant they might have more potential together long term, not _less--_

“G,” Sid started, and took another one of those wavering breaths, then let it fizzle out. “I guess I’ll eat upstairs.”

Zhenya couldn’t take the waiting anymore. “Why did you even invite me here,” he bit out, and heard Sid pause behind him. If this wasn’t going to work, he’d rather have his hope ripped off fast like a bandaid. He might be able to handle the sting of disappointment that way.

“Because I wanted you to come?” Sid answered hesitantly.

Zhenya turned to look up at him. Sid’s expression was painfully open and Zhenya had to tear his gaze away.

Sid shuffled over and crouched down beside him to try and get in his eye-line, but Zhenya continued to stare stubbornly out at the water.

"Look--would you just listen to me. I don't care about any of that stuff."

Zhenya snorted. “You say we’re not compatible, you _said_ it, Sid.”

“I told you that’s not what I meant. Would you just look at me, please?”

Sid stood up and shuffled around beside him, forcing Zhenya to turn if he was curious, and he _was_ curious. When he looked up at Sid, Zhenya choked out a laugh and looked away again. It wasn’t a nice laugh.

"No, I'm serious, _look._ "

Zhenya was infuriated. "I don't want to see your dick, Sid," he snapped, glaring at him. He didn’t know where Sid got off pulling his pants down in the middle of an argument. It wasn’t cute.

"It's not like that. Please? I don’t know how else to explain this."

Zhenya did look again because he was soft-hearted and a sucker.

What had been just a bud between Sid’s legs a few days ago had sprouted, its petals slowly unfurling. They were soft-looking and pink, and in the centre was a long green protrusion in place of his dick.

"What's that?" Zhenya asked. He'd figured it would just be another flower, like all the rest, but he had never seen something like that on Sid before and not-- _there._ It was different from all the other flowers he'd sprouted.

"We only bloom when we’re serious about a potential mate." Sid’s face was as pink as his petals. ”Yeah, you can’t fertilize me and have plant kids," he said, colouring, "but that doesn't really matter. When the time comes there are services that can help with that kind of thing if we want to--not that I want to right now or anything--but what I'm trying to say is: I like you, a lot.”

Zhenya reached up and squeezed Sid’s bare hip. Sid still had his shorts awkwardly around his knees and his t-shirt had dark circles under the armpits, but still Zhenya felt softened like butter. “You mean?”

“Of course I mean it,” Sid said, brushing his fingers against the side of Zhenya’s face. “I wouldn’t let just anyone groom me like that.”

“Sid, the _team_ has people who groom you.”

“It’s not the same,” Sid said, and Zhenya felt his heart swell. Then Sid opened his mouth again. “I don’t get a boner when they do it.”

Zhenya pinched him on the hip and the only reason Sid didn’t trip on his own shorts was that Zhenya caught him by the front of the shirt, anchoring him upright.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Sid asked, but Zhenya didn’t answer. Instead he pulled Sid closer and nuzzled his face into Sid’s flower. He smelt sweet and earthy.

 _“Oh shit,”_ Sid breathed out, and touched the back of Zhenya’s head like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed.

Zhenya pulled away. “Take me upstairs?” he asked.

They ditched the plates in the fridge for later in favour of getting Sid on his back on the mattress with his knees bent, letting Zhenya have a greedy eyeful of the petals that poured out from between his legs.

“What do I do?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I’ve never done this before,” Sid said, and for that, Zhenya had to lean over and kiss him. Sid made a pleased noise and caught the back of Zhenya’s head, keeping him there. His mouth was soft and slick and it made Zhenya’s stomach tremble thinking of all the other soft, slick places he might get to explore.

Zhenya untangled himself from Sid. It was a difficult enough task on a regular day. Sid was like a barnacle when he wanted to be, impossible to pry off. But it was a totally different ball game having Sid’s feelers drag over him, gripping at his skin and sending an excited shiver down his spine. One feeler wiggled curiously behind his balls and Zhenya brushed it away, shimmying down Sid’s body. There would be time for that later. Now he wanted to get acquainted with the new player between Sid’s legs.

Tucking his hand carefully inside the clutch of Sid’s petals, Zhenya eased his way in and the petals fluttered open wider with a shudder. He wanted to discover what was hidden beneath that innermost layer. Finding that hard green protrusion, Zhenya ran his finger over the slick triangle tip of it. The reaction was immediate: Sid spread his legs open and relaxed fully into the mattress. Encouraged, Zhenya circled his fingers around it and smoothed down over the stalk. He didn’t remember much from biology class but he was sure that wasn’t the right word for it.

“What’s this?” Zhenya asked.

“Pistil,” Sid said on a sigh.

The smooth shaft of Sid’s pistil was a thick weight in Zhenya’s hand. His fingers curled around the girth, pumping slowly. The stickiness of the head poked through the top of his fist, pale green and shiny. Zhenya dragged his hand down lower over the bulb at the base, making the muscles in Sid’s thighs twitch.

“And this?”

“My ovary, I guess,” Sid said, and Zhenya balked. He hadn’t been expecting that one.

Zhenya rubbed his fingers over the head more firmly and Sid squeezed his eyes shut. He continued to stroke it as the tip got wetter, dripping down the side. He wasn’t able to stop himself from leaning forward and sucking the tip into his mouth, rubbing the spongy head against his tongue and mouthing gently at its edges, Sid’s hips arched up off the bed sharply. The goo leaking from him was thick and sugary.

“You can use that stuff like lube, you know,” Sid said.

“Oh yes?” Zhenya drawled, dragging his fingers lower.

Zhenya’s hand continued down past the base of Sid’s pistil, down where the green was deepest between his legs. Sid’s taint was lush green and smooth. Zhenya touched him there in slick circles, drawing it out, knowing the anticipation killed Sid every time.

Softening under Zhenya’s fingertips, Sid’s eyelids grew heavy and he squirmed, restless under the attention. Zhenya slid a finger inside and revelled at the wet smooth walls tightening around him as he massaged Sid slowly open, sucking him off. Zhenya buried his face to breathe in deeply the musky scent of fertile soil. Sid’s hips jolted, and Zhenya soothed him with the flat of his tongue, licking a soft broad stripe up the length of his pistil as his fingers got Sid’s slightly waxy skin soft and pliable.

Fingers combed through his hair as Zhenya steadily warmed Sid up under his lips and his hands. When Zhenya didn’t move any faster at the subtle tugging of his hair, Sid kicked at his leg with his heel. Zhenya rocked two fingers in deep and pressed just to make Sid lose his breath. “If you so impatient you can fuck yourself.”

He meant it as a taunt but Sid’s eye’s grew dark and heated. “You want to watch me?”

Zhenya pulled Sid deeper into his lap and watched in fascination as one of Sid’s vines reached down, testing at his own hole before slowly pushing inside. Sid’s vine disappeared inside himself and Zhenya could imagine that was him, and his dick lolled against the inside of Sid’s thigh.

Stroking his cock, he wanted it to last as he watched Sid penetrate himself, wrapped up in the details. What angle and speed he liked, how he touched the tip of his pistil lightly like he didn’t want to distract from the sensation of getting fucked. Sid wasn’t watching himself this time, he was watching Zhenya.

“You like it?” Zhenya asked, jacking himself harder. His skin felt painfully tight.

Sid nodded. “I like you watching me, how badly you want to fuck me, but you can’t.”

Zhenya groaned as Sid arched in his lap. His stomach was still a pale flat plane, and Zhenya could clearly see the bulge of something beneath his skin. It took him a moment to realize it was the shape of Sid’s vine thrusting inside him, stretching his stomach, and Zhenya’s cock jerked in his own hand, his pulls getting more desperate. Would Sid even be able to feel his dick after that?

They were close enough that his cock brushed against Sid’s petals. It felt nice, and he could feel the nudge of Sid’s vine against his balls as he fucked himself harder. It didn’t take much more to have Zhenya tensing and coming with frantic strokes all over Sid’s petals.

“G, oh fuck, Geno,” Sid groaned out, and one hand drifted up to pinch at his own nipple--the one he had sucked on, Zhenya thought wildly, as Sid’s hips hitched and he trembled, coming in Zhenya’s lap.

Zhenya inspected Sid’s flower while he caught his breath. The petals were bruised and smeared in white. “Sorry,” Zhenya said, rubbing his thumb over the edge of one gingerly.

“Are you kidding me? That was awesome. They should repair themselves,” Sid said casually.

Zhenya would just have to trust his word on that. He lay back against the bed and watched Sid’s vines retreat back inside his body.

“Are you going to keep them,” Zhenya asked.

Sid shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it. It is getting a little itchy,” he admitted after a second. “And I kind of miss my dick.”

Zhenya snorted. It was silent for a moment as Zhenya weighed the pros and cons of having to get up versus getting to take a shower. He thought about the come that was still crusted on Sid’s petals, the flower that Sid grew for _him_ \--

He looked over at Sid, who was picking at something growing out from under his nail. Who knew what went on in his head. Zhenya had an idea.

“You’re serious about me?” Zhenya teased lightly and caught the tinge of pink high on Sid’s cheekbone.

“Yeah, and?”

“You want to court me,” Zhenya sing-songed.

“You’re the one who suggested this,” Sid said, but Zhenya wasn’t buying it.

“Yes, but I don’t know it means serious things.”

Sid looked a little guilty. “Well, you know now.”

Zhenya dragged his fingers through the foliage at Sid’s hip. “How do you shave this?” It wasn’t the right word, but it was the one he had.

“The plants? It might take a while, some things can be trimmed, but others will fall off on their own once cut back. Like moulting.” Sid gave a half shrug like this wasn’t all endlessly fascinating, and to him maybe it wasn’t, but Zhenya wanted to know everything. If Sid started pruning would that mean that their courting was over? Zhenya loathed for that to be the end of it. He didn’t have much choice, though; He couldn’t stay in Halifax with Sid forever. He had commitments to keep.

His tongue felt wooden and clumsy in his mouth when he asked: “Do you want to come to Miami with me?”

+

Zhenya was delighted to find that the Miami climate agreed with Sid. For as much as he griped about missing Canadian winters, he flourished under the intense Miami sun—maybe a little too much. More than once, Zhenya caught a passer-by's eyes get locked on Sid and follow him down the sidewalk. It was different from the looks he normally got in public, a different sort of interest. One man with vines poking out of his deep v-neck like chest hair was bold enough to lean over and sniff one of Sid’s flowers while they were standing in line for coffee. Zhenya pulled Sid tight against his side by the hip and pushed his designer sunglasses up his nose so he could glare directly through thousand-dollar lenses at the intruder. Sid seemed entirely unbothered at the attention, if somewhat bored.

It was a different story altogether when an older woman in a sun visor and a Dolphins shirt with a green tinge to her skin patted Sid on the arm and asked him when he was due. His leaves rustled, abashed, as he explained. Zhenya wondered if Sid’s skin would turn green like that when he got older and wasn’t able to control the fluctuations of his form anymore, the same way he wasn’t able to control them as a squalling green toddler. If he’d be picking fresh green sprouts out of Sid’s eyebrows and tending to old, well-loved perennials at sixty.

And he wondered if at some point the plants would take over, unable to be trimmed back, and Sid would fade away and all that Zhenya would be left with was a garden to tend to. He didn’t think so hard about that part. There were still so many questions he didn’t have answers to, but he wanted all of it, he wanted all of it anyways and the prospect of having it made him feel giddy and nervous at the same time. Like lightning during a storm, or the bubbles that danced across his tongue with his first sip of champagne, or his first kiss.

Zhenya bussed a kiss to Sid’s lips when they got out of the store, his face tickled by the leaves. He brushed one away from the corner of Sid’s eye just because he could.

“What was that for?”

Zhenya shrugged. “Because I like you,” and he watched Sid’s face soften.

“I like you too, weirdo,” Sid said, and took his hand and squeezed it.

Zhenya caught Sid trying to wrestle his dress shirt over his torso on their way out for dinner. They were already late due to no one person’s fault in particular, though Sid would disagree, and Sid’s losing battle with the leaves sticking out every which way threatened to slow them further.

Zhenya stepped up to help try and tug Sid buttons closed over his chest, stems sticking stubbornly out through the button holes.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Sid huffed, and blew a leaf out of his eye. He was definitely pouting.

“Maybe you should go naked,” Zhenya teased.

“And scar some poor family? No way. They’ll think it’s the return of the Creature from the Black Lagoon.”

“Too handsome.” Zhenya tsked.

“Thanks, G.”

“I mean the fish man,” Zhenya said flatly, only to crack immediately at Sid’s indignant face.

They still got a table, even though they were late and Sid looked like the mutant child of a club promoter who banged a tumbleweed. He itched all the way through dinner, shed dirt on the table cloth, and sat with his legs spread out as if his balls were too big to hold them together. Zhenya felt minorly responsible for Sid’s current situation. He had an inkling Sid was only keeping the plants this long because of Zhenya’s blatant enjoyment of them, his glee that Sid had _grown_ them to express his _emotions_ for _Zhenya_. As much as he loved them, he took pity on Sid.

Sid had packed his manicuring kit. It wasn’t like any kind of kit Zhenya had ever seen. There were multiple types of tweezers, some pliers, shears, and a collection of other curious devices for what purpose, Zhenya didn’t know.

He brought it out of the washroom with him that night and dropped it on Sid’s side of the bed. “Think it’s time, Sid.”

“I’m okay,” Sid said, eyeing it, but he still had a red spot on his cheek from where Zhenya had seen a small— _“small”—_ spider crawl across it the night before.

Zhenya sank down onto the edge of the mattress, fiddling with the corner of the sheet. “It’s not about flowers.”

Sid sat up straighter, putting his phone down. “What’s not about the flowers?”

Zhenya sucked on his lip. This was way more embarrassing to say out loud than how he had planned it out in his head. Sometimes he wished someone would just develop a neuro-link already so that Zhenya could drop his thoughts and feelings into Sid’s head and he wouldn’t have to try and work it out in English. Then they’d really be the two-headed monster.

Sid’s hand rested over his, stilling his movements. “Hey, what’s up?”

“The plants, you said they mean courting.”

“Yeah?” Sid asked, leading. He was going to make Zhenya spell it out.

“We can still do it when you’re not-- _leafy?_ ” Zhenya didn’t know, he didn’t make the rules.

“G,” Sid said, and squeezed his wrist again. “I’m not going to stop feeling this way just because the flowers are gone.”

“How you feel?” Zhenya asked quietly. He’d let Sid chicken out once already.

“You _know_.”

Zhenya pressed his lips tight together. His tongue felt big and clumsy in his mouth, frustrated. He still barely knew anything beyond Sid’s vague _“serious.”_ He knew that, but it wasn’t enough, he wanted to hear it.

“Sid, _I don’t.”_

Sid took a deep breath. “I know it’s only been a few months, and we said we’d take it slow, but then when you asked about the plants, I just kept thinking about it. What if I _was_ growing them so we could mate and I liked the idea of it.” He whispered, “I liked the idea of you and me being together for a long time.” Zhenya looked down at where their hands were resting together as Sid added, devastatingly, “And maybe I was already most of the way in love with you.”

Zhenya sucked on his lip. “You love?”

“Yeah, I love. I thought it was kind of obvious.” Sid smiled and gestured to himself.

Zhenya planted his face in Sid’s big, leafy chest, burying his own secret smile there, pleased down to his toes. Sid had grown them to express his emotions and one of them was _love._

Sid’s hand reached up and squeezed the back of his neck. “G,” Sid said, and squeezed again, insistently. Zhenya looked up. Sid was watching him expectantly.

“Yes?”

“Well, do you—” Sid cut himself off and his leaves rustled again when he realized what he was about to ask.

“You already know, it’s kind of obvious,” Zhenya teased.

Sid rolled his eyes. “Yeah okay, I get it now.”

“Love you,” Zhenya said and smacked a kiss on his chin and added, “My little flower bud,” in Russian, which he knew Sid would loathe, and pulled away, retrieving the shaving kit where he had abandoned it. “Come, you need to shave.”

Zhenya sat Sid in front of the mirror in the washroom to buzz the shrubs and hair away, hesitating for only a moment. “You sure it won’t hurt?”

“Sure,” Sid replied, and sighed at the first sweep of the clippers.

Starting with his head, curls and leaves dropped to the floor, filling the room with the smell of freshly cut grass. Zhenya had to take a few passes to his face before he could move down to beard trimmers. He let himself get lost in the repetitiveness of the movements, carding his fingers through Sid’s leaves then following them up with the shears. Sid stood so Zhenya could do his back, then his chest, but took them back to do his own legs. Sid looked odd, with stumpy green stems all over his skin, but seemed refreshed.

“They’ll dry up and slough off like dead skin,” he said, then dug through his kit till he found a pair of large pliers and wiggled them in the air. Sid took them into the shower with him while Zhenya swept up, keeping a curious eye on Sid’s silhouette through the foggy glass as he worked at the leaves between his legs. Zhenya thought some things were just better for him not to see.

He had left one remaining flower bud by Sid’s ear untouched and Zhenya admired it from where his head rested against his pillow as they got into bed. Zhenya ran his hands over Sid’s back, enjoying the--mostly--smooth skin, squeaky clean and pink from the shower. Soon Sid’s skin would be dark enough that Zhenya would no longer be able to make out the dark green veins lingering under his skin.

He traced them until he fell into an easy sleep, and stayed there, deep and peaceful till he was awoken by an exuberant whoop. Zhenya looked around dazedly as Sid came out of the bathroom and flashed him, again.

“My dick’s back!” he said with easily more joy Zhenya had ever seen on his face shy of winning the Cup. Zhenya went back to bed.

It wasn’t until later, when they were lying on the beach under the sun, that Zhenya noticed the one pink hibiscus flower, so perfectly placed behind the shell of Sid’s ear it almost looked fake. Except Zhenya knew it was real. Real and living and not so different from the thing blooming inside his chest; that was a part of Sid too.


End file.
